Just Friends

I have mentioned how I have a lot of beautiful friends, female ones, but honestly I have a lot of good looking guy friends as well. I am really a guys girl. Guys love being my friend. I love sports, guy talk, I deal well with vulgarity, and they feel comfortable telling me anything and everything. Sometimes I even think like a guy, and I think that is what attracts men to me, but not in a romantic way, its like I have several "bromances" but I am not a bro. Most of my friends of the opposite sex, I was attracted to in the beginning. When a man is good looking, and wants to spend lots of time with you, its hard not to be attracted to them. But its pretty easy for me to find out when they are "just friends" and not interested in more.

There are several signs that get to me to this assumption. It starts with not trying anything after several times of hanging out. Hanging out all the time, but not going out is another sign, although I was taken on a date with one of my good friends, before we were good friends. The tell to be 100% sure that a guy isn't interested in me is when he asks about one of my friends. This happens quite frequently, sometimes it makes me feel as if he is using to get to my friends, but to prevent to sounding upset or bitter or revealing my discomfort and true feelings, of course I entertain it. My entertaining of this, is yet another topic.

Because I have encountered this same relationship with men several times, I find myself expecting it to occur. If I don't get the "interested in you more than friends vibe" I tend to immediately put him in the "friend zone". I know that others of you have done this as well. It is self- sabatoge. I won't lie, I am scared to be rejected just like the anyone else, and having a slight attraction or crush on someone then finding out they really want to be with any of your friends, well is quite disheartening. I guess that's why its called a "crush". I am not going to sit here and say that men are rude ( even then a lot of them are) but if you are approaching a woman you do not know to ask about her friend, you are a pussy. Excuse my French, but please grow some cajonas and approach her yourself.

I love being the friend, and I love spending time with men, but it would be nice to spend time with a man that wants to have good conversation with me, and maybe a little something more. We can still talk about sports and watch ESPN, but maybe negate the sexual stories from last weekend. I am afraid  that I am going to put someone that actually wants me as more than a friend in the friend zone and ruin a potential relationship. But am I willing to be vulnerable only to find out he is just another man in pursuit of my bff? I am not so sure.


Don't self sabotage your relationships!

Tiffany