To all those that consistently read and follow my blog, I want to sincerely apologize for my absence. I also want to thank you for your support over the last couple of years. I have received many comments and messages about posts and where I have been, and I am glad to say that I am back!
As I have mentioned before, my father died in February and that was very hard on me. I took some time off from writing and kept to myself, then started writing again. Shortly after that I was in a relationship which resulted in an end due to domestic violence. This was the final breaking point for me. It's so easy to get caught up in the unimportant things in life, and easy allow the things that matter the most, family, friends, God, to slip through your fingertips. This is exactly what happened to me.
This past summer I was pretty consistent in working out and trying my best to stick to my diet. I lost a few pounds, worked with a trainer a couple days a week, but after my 'incident' occurred it all came to a shocking halt. I quickly realized where my focus needed to be. It didn't matter how physically healthy I was, if I wasn't mentally healthy, it was all for loss. With that being said, I have spent the last few months really getting to know Tiffany. I decided to take a year and dedicate it to me. No men, no dating, nothing. I am 147 days in and I can honestly say that it is the best decision I have ever made for myself. I have been able to see what I really want out of my life without the distractions of relationships.
Now about right now. I have finally decided that it is the time to finish this work on this body that I have been out to do for the last 10 years. I have lost a total of 40 lbs since I started this journey, and I haven't gained back any of the weight since I have been on my sabbatical, but that is still not good enough.
Last week I was spending time with some male friends of mine. As many of you already know, I have several male platonic male friends (seems to be a problem). While out with a friend that I hadn't seen in a while, he asked if I had recently lost weight. I responded with yes. Then he proceeded, "you know, I was thinking, you would be really 'bad' if you lost weight." Now this is not the first time that I have heard this contradicting compliment, but this time it pierced me in a way that it hadn't before. I am looking up at this sweet, 6' + intelligent black man thinking, is this really what it takes to nab a guy like you? Now don't get it confused, this friend is not someone that I am interested in for several reasons, but he is the type of guy that I would like to see myself one day. This was the turning point for me. For the first time in my life, I realize how beautiful I am on the inside, and I want my outside to reflect the inside. I know that men see the positive qualities that I bring to the table, i.e. intelligent, cook, football lover, good with children. (And for the record, I'm not here to toot my horn, but to clarify my previous insecurities.)
So here I am 24 years old, on November 29, 2001 proclaiming my dedication to my health and my body. I don't want to be a size 4 or 6. I just want to be a healthy Tiffany, and I am willing to do whatever that takes. I now know that the key to being successful in my weight loss is discipline. I have the knowledge, the tools, and the resources to lose the weight. I have a gym membership, a trainer, I know everything about food, diet, and calories, but the only way I am going to be successful is if I am willing to just do it.
Since a 25th birthday is the last positive birthday landmark to have in an adult life, I have made that my goal date. My goal is to lose another 45 lbs. I know what some of you are thinking, but trust me, that's what I need to lose. It is a lofty goal, and I would be lying if I said it didn't scare me because it does. It's daunting, and I am fearful of even sharing this goal with you all because of the disappoint of not meeting it. But, I have 30 weeks to do it, which is 1.5 lbs a week. Very doable.
Now that I am back, I am back for good. I will continue to update my status weekly. I feel as if this blog is accountability for me. Feel free to continue to comment and message me about my blog and my weight loss journey. I hope that I can inspire those of you are battling the same disease that I am. I know that there are a lot of people out there that do not understand why fat people are fat. But food can be an addiction and it is for millions of people in this country. I am not perfect by any means. I have been struggling with my weight since childhood, I have been called every name in the book, but regardless, I will not allow anyone to stop me. Sometime we fall short, we relapse, we gain the weight back, we eat the chocolate cake on our diets, just know that it doesn't mean that its over. Get back on the treadmill, ride your bike, jump rope, or do whatever you need to do to burn off those 500 calories! Yes a piece of chocolate cake is 500 calories!
Keep it up fellow fatties!
Tiffany
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