To all those that consistently read and follow my blog, I want to sincerely apologize for my absence. I also want to thank you for your support over the last couple of years. I have received many comments and messages about posts and where I have been, and I am glad to say that I am back!
As I have mentioned before, my father died in February and that was very hard on me. I took some time off from writing and kept to myself, then started writing again. Shortly after that I was in a relationship which resulted in an end due to domestic violence. This was the final breaking point for me. It's so easy to get caught up in the unimportant things in life, and easy allow the things that matter the most, family, friends, God, to slip through your fingertips. This is exactly what happened to me.
This past summer I was pretty consistent in working out and trying my best to stick to my diet. I lost a few pounds, worked with a trainer a couple days a week, but after my 'incident' occurred it all came to a shocking halt. I quickly realized where my focus needed to be. It didn't matter how physically healthy I was, if I wasn't mentally healthy, it was all for loss. With that being said, I have spent the last few months really getting to know Tiffany. I decided to take a year and dedicate it to me. No men, no dating, nothing. I am 147 days in and I can honestly say that it is the best decision I have ever made for myself. I have been able to see what I really want out of my life without the distractions of relationships.
Now about right now. I have finally decided that it is the time to finish this work on this body that I have been out to do for the last 10 years. I have lost a total of 40 lbs since I started this journey, and I haven't gained back any of the weight since I have been on my sabbatical, but that is still not good enough.
Last week I was spending time with some male friends of mine. As many of you already know, I have several male platonic male friends (seems to be a problem). While out with a friend that I hadn't seen in a while, he asked if I had recently lost weight. I responded with yes. Then he proceeded, "you know, I was thinking, you would be really 'bad' if you lost weight." Now this is not the first time that I have heard this contradicting compliment, but this time it pierced me in a way that it hadn't before. I am looking up at this sweet, 6' + intelligent black man thinking, is this really what it takes to nab a guy like you? Now don't get it confused, this friend is not someone that I am interested in for several reasons, but he is the type of guy that I would like to see myself one day. This was the turning point for me. For the first time in my life, I realize how beautiful I am on the inside, and I want my outside to reflect the inside. I know that men see the positive qualities that I bring to the table, i.e. intelligent, cook, football lover, good with children. (And for the record, I'm not here to toot my horn, but to clarify my previous insecurities.)
So here I am 24 years old, on November 29, 2001 proclaiming my dedication to my health and my body. I don't want to be a size 4 or 6. I just want to be a healthy Tiffany, and I am willing to do whatever that takes. I now know that the key to being successful in my weight loss is discipline. I have the knowledge, the tools, and the resources to lose the weight. I have a gym membership, a trainer, I know everything about food, diet, and calories, but the only way I am going to be successful is if I am willing to just do it.
Since a 25th birthday is the last positive birthday landmark to have in an adult life, I have made that my goal date. My goal is to lose another 45 lbs. I know what some of you are thinking, but trust me, that's what I need to lose. It is a lofty goal, and I would be lying if I said it didn't scare me because it does. It's daunting, and I am fearful of even sharing this goal with you all because of the disappoint of not meeting it. But, I have 30 weeks to do it, which is 1.5 lbs a week. Very doable.
Now that I am back, I am back for good. I will continue to update my status weekly. I feel as if this blog is accountability for me. Feel free to continue to comment and message me about my blog and my weight loss journey. I hope that I can inspire those of you are battling the same disease that I am. I know that there are a lot of people out there that do not understand why fat people are fat. But food can be an addiction and it is for millions of people in this country. I am not perfect by any means. I have been struggling with my weight since childhood, I have been called every name in the book, but regardless, I will not allow anyone to stop me. Sometime we fall short, we relapse, we gain the weight back, we eat the chocolate cake on our diets, just know that it doesn't mean that its over. Get back on the treadmill, ride your bike, jump rope, or do whatever you need to do to burn off those 500 calories! Yes a piece of chocolate cake is 500 calories!
Keep it up fellow fatties!
Tiffany
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Weight Loss and Other Things
I first want to apologize for the lack of attention I have given my blog. I know that there are many people out there that tune it whenever I write, give great feedback, and support me. Please forgive me.
I have recently lost 35 lbs. I wish I could be excited, but honestly, I have lost much more. My father. I have spent the last 7 years dealing with my father's illness, remission, and the sudden return of his cancer. Two months ago he passed away. I would be lying if I wasn't devastated, but I am still am. This is the main reason that I have been M.I.A. I find it hard to write directly after mourning. My thoughts are everywhere and it takes time for me to sort them out and get myself together. But I am back, and since I have not been writing at all, I have a lot to say. Nothing out of the usual.
Now back to this weight loss. The recent loss of my father gave me a wake up call on the reality of my situation. Life is very short. No moment is promised. I know that these are all sayings that we hear constantly and they have become a little more than cliche, but as I watched my father take his last breath, and I felt the life leave him as I was holding his hand, I had more than an epiphany.
My father had been big his whole life. I never saw him thin until his last days. I have never been thin either. Some would blame it on bad genes, but I blame it on bad habits. There were many times that my father was told to lose weight, and he attempted to. He never kept it off. I don't think that his weight was to blame for his death, but his weight did affect the quality of life that he did have before he died.
This makes me think about my own quality of life. No doubt I enjoy the life that I am living, but I begin to think about all the things that I don't enjoy in life because of my weight: clothing shopping, pool parties, vacations on the beach, dating, going out, etc. I have stated before that my weight has affected every aspect of my life and that is very true. I know that it sounds silly, but if you have never experienced issues with weight, you may not understand.
The issue of my weight has become even more vital. I want to live a healthy life. I have changed my life style. I slip up just like everyone else, but I have to understand that my issues with food are like those of an addict and I have to treat my disease. I am fighting a battle everyday, and unlike a lot of other people, my battle will never stop. An alcoholic is always an alcoholic, and I will also have an eating disorder, I am just trying to stay sober out here.
Mentally I have changed my game. I am currently on spring break, and I am doing two-a-day workouts all week. Interval training, training for an upcoming 5k, and kickboxing. I have really started to enjoy working out again. It is difficult because I have been doing everything alone, and I don't have the support like I did when I was back in high school, but I am pressing on through that as well.
I finally decided to show you all some before and in progress pictures. I don't want to say after, because my journey is far from over. I still have 50 more pounds to lose!
I stumbled upon these pictures on my mom's camera from the end of July. I was at my grandmother's house. I never realized how big I really was until now.
I have recently lost 35 lbs. I wish I could be excited, but honestly, I have lost much more. My father. I have spent the last 7 years dealing with my father's illness, remission, and the sudden return of his cancer. Two months ago he passed away. I would be lying if I wasn't devastated, but I am still am. This is the main reason that I have been M.I.A. I find it hard to write directly after mourning. My thoughts are everywhere and it takes time for me to sort them out and get myself together. But I am back, and since I have not been writing at all, I have a lot to say. Nothing out of the usual.
Now back to this weight loss. The recent loss of my father gave me a wake up call on the reality of my situation. Life is very short. No moment is promised. I know that these are all sayings that we hear constantly and they have become a little more than cliche, but as I watched my father take his last breath, and I felt the life leave him as I was holding his hand, I had more than an epiphany.
My father had been big his whole life. I never saw him thin until his last days. I have never been thin either. Some would blame it on bad genes, but I blame it on bad habits. There were many times that my father was told to lose weight, and he attempted to. He never kept it off. I don't think that his weight was to blame for his death, but his weight did affect the quality of life that he did have before he died.
This makes me think about my own quality of life. No doubt I enjoy the life that I am living, but I begin to think about all the things that I don't enjoy in life because of my weight: clothing shopping, pool parties, vacations on the beach, dating, going out, etc. I have stated before that my weight has affected every aspect of my life and that is very true. I know that it sounds silly, but if you have never experienced issues with weight, you may not understand.
The issue of my weight has become even more vital. I want to live a healthy life. I have changed my life style. I slip up just like everyone else, but I have to understand that my issues with food are like those of an addict and I have to treat my disease. I am fighting a battle everyday, and unlike a lot of other people, my battle will never stop. An alcoholic is always an alcoholic, and I will also have an eating disorder, I am just trying to stay sober out here.
Mentally I have changed my game. I am currently on spring break, and I am doing two-a-day workouts all week. Interval training, training for an upcoming 5k, and kickboxing. I have really started to enjoy working out again. It is difficult because I have been doing everything alone, and I don't have the support like I did when I was back in high school, but I am pressing on through that as well.
I finally decided to show you all some before and in progress pictures. I don't want to say after, because my journey is far from over. I still have 50 more pounds to lose!
I stumbled upon these pictures on my mom's camera from the end of July. I was at my grandmother's house. I never realized how big I really was until now.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
The Break-Up: Its not you its me.
My relationship has ended. I had to give him the speech.
"It's not you, its me. I am sure that are millions of others girls that would love to have you in their life, but I can't deal with you anymore. Our relationship has become unhealthy, I have been dependent upon you. I know, I know, you have been there for me whenever I needed you, you have given me TOO much. When I am down, you always find a way to pick me up, but I need to move on from this destructive courtship."
After years of holding on to something that has been so dear to me, I finally let go. That's right, I dumped him.
I broke up with food.
As I have mentioned before, my relationship with food, has been less than healthy. Food is an addiction, and a hard one to break. I have been eating healthier for the last 6 months, but I decided that in 2011 I would take a drastic change. I mean I want drastic results, so I had to take a leap. I am a vegetarian, so I no longer have the calories of meat. I am lactose intolerant, the only dairy I eat is mild cheeses ( feat, goat, parmesean).
I have defined a strick diet for myself and with the help of sparkpeople.com and my background knowledge of food, I track my calorie intake and calories burned.
I know that eating is not the only thing that needs to change, but it sure has made a difference. I can no longer go to McDonald's to grab a burger. The goal is not to diet. I am making a lifestyle change, and those people who are sucessful with weight-loss and more importantly keeping it off, have changed the ways that they live. This doesn' t mean that I won't ever eat Hot Fries again, I just know that when I do want to "cheat" or slurge on my calories that I need to work harder in the gym. It is a simple exchange.
Part of this lifestyle change is trading in my addictions. Transfering the energy I spent worrying about putting food in my mouth into work in the gym. I will talk more about this later.
I challege you to make a change in your life. It may not be weight-loss but some other bad habit or addiction that you need to rid your life of. You can do it. Make yourself better, get healthy, and get happy!
Talk to you later,
Tiffany
P.S. I have lost 8 lbs in the last 10 days!
"It's not you, its me. I am sure that are millions of others girls that would love to have you in their life, but I can't deal with you anymore. Our relationship has become unhealthy, I have been dependent upon you. I know, I know, you have been there for me whenever I needed you, you have given me TOO much. When I am down, you always find a way to pick me up, but I need to move on from this destructive courtship."
After years of holding on to something that has been so dear to me, I finally let go. That's right, I dumped him.
I broke up with food.
As I have mentioned before, my relationship with food, has been less than healthy. Food is an addiction, and a hard one to break. I have been eating healthier for the last 6 months, but I decided that in 2011 I would take a drastic change. I mean I want drastic results, so I had to take a leap. I am a vegetarian, so I no longer have the calories of meat. I am lactose intolerant, the only dairy I eat is mild cheeses ( feat, goat, parmesean).
I have defined a strick diet for myself and with the help of sparkpeople.com and my background knowledge of food, I track my calorie intake and calories burned.
I know that eating is not the only thing that needs to change, but it sure has made a difference. I can no longer go to McDonald's to grab a burger. The goal is not to diet. I am making a lifestyle change, and those people who are sucessful with weight-loss and more importantly keeping it off, have changed the ways that they live. This doesn' t mean that I won't ever eat Hot Fries again, I just know that when I do want to "cheat" or slurge on my calories that I need to work harder in the gym. It is a simple exchange.
Part of this lifestyle change is trading in my addictions. Transfering the energy I spent worrying about putting food in my mouth into work in the gym. I will talk more about this later.
I challege you to make a change in your life. It may not be weight-loss but some other bad habit or addiction that you need to rid your life of. You can do it. Make yourself better, get healthy, and get happy!
Talk to you later,
Tiffany
P.S. I have lost 8 lbs in the last 10 days!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)