Thintervention

As I sit on my bed watching Jackie Warner kick some spoiled, overweight, rich folks asses, I think about how lazy they are and how many excuses that these people with nothing better to do are making up everyday. Then I realize, I am sitting on the bed watching something that should be motivating me to get off my ass, but instead, I am taking my negativity out on someone else who is doing exactly what I am doing. Absolutely nothing. I think to my self, and realize that I haven't worked out in days. I haven't ate right all week, my weight has been stagnant, and I have every reason to be motivated. In less than a week, the love of my life will be visiting me for the weekend, although you should never let a man be the reason to lose weight, it is a strong motivation nonetheless. I am single and living in a new city, where the men are scarce, and the semi-beautiful women are bountiful. I only have one responsibility and that is my self, so it is time that I stopped talking about what I am going to do and just do it. It is easy to be motivated, but harder to get up. So I did just that, I got up, put on my gym clothes and went to kickboxing class. It is crazy, because I really love kickboxing so I am not so sure why my lazy self avoids going to the gym. I think there is some type of fear that comes with change, maybe I will change, but nothing else will improve in my life, or maybe I will change and everything else will change as well. There is so much in the unknown that makes all of us feel uneasy. I will be honest, which I always do, there is  nothing better than feeling comfortable. But there is something that is pleasing and exciting about the unknown, and I am finally ready to venture out into that uncomfortable place, that hopefully one day will be my new haven.

I want to talk a little more about food. I have said before that food and overeating is an addiction, but now I can confirm it. Sugar releases the same chemicals into your body as those of drugs and alcohol. Most Americans are addicted to sugar in one form or the other. Carbohydrates, a personal favorite of mine, simple sugars, fructose corn syrup, and the list goes on and on. No wonder I have been fighting this fat for so long! The sugar that we are given as children is our first high, our first moment of indulgent pleasure, and because of that I have been struggling for the last 20 years. Well... I refuse to struggle any longer, as I promise to myself to get my shit together, and make changes that will better myself.